Dear Office Chair and Derriere,

 

Chair, LET THE ASS GO.

 

Don’t get me wrong, we all love a peach, but chair, you’ve got to let it go!  There are so many more things to see and to do.  We all know it’s not easy watching that booty walk on out but you’ll get through it.

 

To you, Derriere – it’s time to move on, the chair isn’t any good for you anymore.  I know they were always there for you, when you felt like you couldn’t stand any longer, but trust me, there are better things out there – Don’t let the Chair hear me say this but the standing desk is looking pretty hot right now ?.

 

Like all great relationships you need space, time apart, to grow and have fun, and when you catch up every now and again it’ll be like you’ve never been apart, trust me.

 

So to the Chair again I say, let the ass go.

 

To my Keyboard Kings, QWERTY Queens, and Derriere everywhere I say, rise up.  You don’t have to sit there and accept this back pain abuse or the steady increase in kilos.  You better that this, and I know it!

 

Yours sincerely,
John

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